


Last Night

by Miss_Haki



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (not much tho), Angst, Cinnamon Roll Papyrus, F/F, F/M, Fluff, How Do I Tag, OH YEAH SMUT, One Night Stands, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Sans Needs A Hug, Unplanned Pregnancy, but i got inspired to write this from some good charlotte song, but maybe it's okay, but only like the first chapter, domestic shit, i'm the worst, it gets hella fluffy, let's see, like multiple, pls help i think undertale is dead now, probably a slow burn but not really, seriously this is all based on like one idea i had at 1 am
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 20:04:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13958988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Haki/pseuds/Miss_Haki
Summary: You're just a girl trying to balance four jobs and keep yourself housed and fed every week. Honestly, you aren't doing too hot. After your third breakdown of the month, the roommate that you don't even really speak to decides to take you clubbing. One simple decision to get drunk beyond reason lands you in a very... unlikely situation.(idk just go in hoping for the best but preparing for the worst with this one lads)





	1. In Which Things Get Freaky Deaky

**Author's Note:**

> Based (very) loosely on Good Charlotte's Last Night. Does anyone even know who Good Charlotte is any more? Idk I just listened to a playlist from 2010 and this happened.
> 
> But yeah I'm moving countries soon and this is honestly the worst time to start writing but whatever. Enjoy!

This time you weren't even sure what the cause of your breakdown was. Maybe the middle-aged woman that threw a milkshake at you at you five minutes into your 6-hour shift at Mcdonalds, or the 3-year-old scream crying at his uncaring father for the entirety of the half hour bus ride you had taken between jobs. Perhaps it was your shitty manager at the hardware store threatening to cut your pay again after you said you couldn't stay late.

All in all, it was probably a mixture of everything going on in your shitty life at the moment, you finally decided once curled up in a blanket burrito in bed, a few stray tears still streaking down your cheeks. All you wanted at that moment was some peace and quiet and maybe some strong liquor.

"Hey dude, lookin' a little rough." Your roommate, Becca(?) you still didn't know if that was how it was spelled, said, leaning through your doorway. "Know it's kinda been a long day, but do you maybe wanna come with me and a couple of friends to get blackout drunk? It'll make ya feel better."

Staring at the wall for a moment, you sighed. Maybe you'd only get to check the strong liquor request off your list this time.

 

-

 

After a longer-than-strictly-necessary shower, you donned your coolest outfit and even put on a little makeup. Already feeling better than your wallowing plan had gone, you strolled out into the main room and pre-gamed a bit with Becca and her friends, cracking a few shitty jokes and generally being your embarrassing self. When it finally hit happy hour at the closest bar, you all stumbled into a taxi and sang along shittily to the radio, making sure to give the cabbie a generous tip for his troubles.

For the first hour or so, you sat around with the group chatting and not drinking too much. But when they all started migrating to the mosh pit at the center of the room, you turned to what you originally came out for.

The bar.

Now, you really wanted to just get fucked up tonight, but you were a struggling millennial sometimes not able to put food on the table, so you went for the cheap stuff, not really worrying about the taste. Shitty vodka would have to do.

Three shots of the five you had ordered down, you heard a deep chuckle over the loud electronic base blasting through the room. Looking up, you raised a brow at the guy (oh, skeleton) sitting next to you. 

"You right there, buddy?" You asked after a brief staring contest. The skeleton, who really didn't look that much like a skeleton, other than the fact that he had deep black eye sockets and very visible bones. Only, they definitely weren't anything like the ones you had seen in science textbooks. Much more... cartoonish.

"never been better. was just about to ask you the same thing." The little pinpricks of white in his eye sockets darted back to the five shots you had before you. "rough day?"

"Something like that. What brings you here?" You decided to make conversation, seeing as Beca and her friends were probably already off to catch the next happy hour.

"same as you, sunshine." He winked. Oh, that was kinda weird. Was the bone in his face soft? Your mind too caught up with too many questions, didn't catch the fact that you were blatantly staring. "like whatcha see?"

"Oh, you have to do a little more than a wink and flash a smile for something like that, bone boy." Came your immediate reply. 

"you didn't deny it though?" 

"Let me finish my drinks first, dude. I'm way too sober to make proper conversation."

 

-

 

"Oh my- what the fuck? He- he just jumped out the damn window?!" You managed between bouts of giggles.

"and he nailed the landing too." Sans, you'd learned his name somewhere along your drunken conversation, added.

"From a three-story window?" Your face hurt from how much you were grinning at this point. The guy had so many wacky stories, and while you had plenty of customer service anecdotes to share, he seemed to have a fuck ton of friends that did some weird shit.

"fuck yeah he did. scared the hell outta some lady at the bottom." You doubled over laughing, your drunk mind finding nothing funnier than the image of a skeleton appearing to fall from the sky. By the time your laughter subsided, you were out of breath and leaned back against the bar where the two of you had been talking for the past hour or so.

Breathing heavily, your eyes flickered back to your skeleton companion, finding that his were on you too. You grinned.

"That story was pretty _humerus_ , wouldn't you say?" You said in a way too proud voice, nudging his side with your elbow for good measure. His grin, which seemed semi-permanent on his face, grew to impossible levels. "Why do I feel like I've made a mistake?"

"oh, you don't know the half of it."

 

-

 

After finally finishing his honestly soul-crushing barrage of skeleton-related puns and jokes, you were about ready to jump out of a three-story window yourself. You had tried to combat with a few of your own, but he just never seemed to stop talking. By the time Sans had stopped most of the people around the bar had left, leaving only a few passed out drunks, couples making out in little nooks and booths and the occasional group of friends talking. You had both slipped into a relatively lapse of peace, swishing about your drinks and not quite finishing them.

You turned over to where Sans was still sitting, back against the bar and twirling yet another bloody mary around in his hands. You had a feeling where this night was going, based on his periodic innuendo and an outrageous wink, but had no idea where to begin.

Suddenly those little white dots looked over, and his smile twisted into more of a smirk. "like whatcha see, sunshine?" He asked in that same low, sultry tone. You sucked in a quick breath.

"Not minding it at the moment, bone boy." You spoke slowly, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. "Wouldn't mind taking a closer look."

You wet your lips with a slow, deliberate swipe of your tongue, and saw him trail the movement with his eyes, smile tightening and shifting ever so slightly.

"yours or mine?" He breathed, sliding off of the bar stool and holding a hand out for you. Taking it and walking towards the exit, you felt your body heat up with excitement and need. It had been a while, hadn't it?

"My roommate is probably gonna be there."

"mine it is." He said, a cold gust of wind drawing attention to the thin sheen of sweat dotting your forehead. "don't worry, i know a shortcut."

And with a wink, the world around you melted from city nightlife to a dark bedroom. Your drunk mind didn't question the obvious use of magic, instead focusing on the fact this his lips (lips?) were on yours and bony hands were tugging off your jacket. Everything melted as your hands wandered, tracing lines of bones under his shirt that soon appeared as both of your clothes were thrown to the floor.

A bony finger brushed against your exposed nipple, drawing a small gasp from your mouth. Taking the opportunity, Sans' tongue (tongue?!) melded with yours, and the both of you fell back onto the bed below you, your hair sprawled out on the pillow as you broke apart, staring up at the body currently hovering over you. His knee shifted slightly further between your legs and you moaned.

"Don't be a tease." You muttered, your hands moving down his body to grasp the pelvic bone. This seemed to get the right reaction from him, a throaty grunt meeting your ears. You were practically naked below him, just a lacy pair of panties on your body, while he still had that pair of basketball shorts on. Your eyes flickered back to meet his. "Let's even this out, shall we?"

Pulling both the shorts and boxers down, you couldn't stop the gasp that escaped you as a glowing blue, very human looking penis appeared before you, bathing the room in a  very faint blue light. 

"first time with a monster?" He asked, quite smugly, actually, as he kicked the shorts off.

"Yeah."

"don't worry, we'll go slow."

"Wait, do you have protection?"

"all that stuff's magic, sunshine. don't need it."

You nodded. Maybe it was your drunk mind, or just the very sincere look Sans had given you at that moment, but you had completely let go of any worries.

His grin widened and he finally pulled your last item of clothing down your legs.


	2. In Which You Get The Look™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything falls into place and you totally have a healthy reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you guys know that this probably won't have much 'punny/funny Sans' until a few chapters in. And it's gonna be a weird platonic relationship for a bit. This story is weird and has no planning or update schedule, but that's just what you guys got yourself into ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

You didn't really pay The Look™ any mind the first few times you actually noticed it, passed it off as your messy hair or the pyjamas you were still wearing at 1 PM. 

It wasn't something you really worried about, you were on a three-day 'no incident' streak and you weren't about to let a few looks damage your newfound good mood. Using this boost in self-esteem and confidence, you ran a few errands that you'd been putting off for ages. Stuff like paying you rent and getting a new pair of earphones and cutting your hair. Hey, you even went out and bought yourself a fucking salad.

God, you were just waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Paycuts, overtime, hidden fees. You were ready for them all, you had already stocked up the shared freezer with your favourite ice cream _just in case_.

But of course, it wasn't anything even close to what you were expecting.

Having decided to sleep in today and take the bus to work, you dropped a few coins in the tray and grabbed one of the little dangly thingies, seeing as there weren't any free seats available. Just beside you, a dreary looking rabbit monster gave you The Look™, and this time you were honestly a little peeved. What was it this time? You'd purposely checked your hair, clothes, even teeth! Just to see if there was anything stare-worthy about you, but nothing came up.

"You can take my seat if you want, honey." She spoke, somewhat surprising you. You only just heard her over the usual hectic bus chatter

"Oh, um, me?" You asked. She nodded, already getting up. "Woah, wait. I couldn't do that. Besides, I'm only on for another few minutes. I'm fine standing, honest."

The woman just smiled at you, her nose twitching slightly with the movement. "I couldn't leave a woman in your condition standing, now could I?"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, do you not know yet?" She asked, eyes widening and darting back to your stomach. "I'm terribly sorry, I must have ruined the surprise!"

"What on earth are you talking about?" You said, looking down to check if there was something there. 

"That would be my stop, actually! You keep off your feet now, ya hear?" She called back as she hopped down the aisle and off the bus, to quick for you to catch her and demand what 'the surprise' was. You grumbled quietly to yourself, settling down into the now free seat and fishing in your coat pocket for a pair of earphone.

While you had a small idea of what she might have meant, you stubbornly refused to think about it. Instead, you let the hustle and bustle of the retail industry whisk the thought away.

 

-

 

After that, you were hyper-aware of The Look™ and every person that it came from. What you did notice is that only monsters seemed to do so, which caused you to frantically Google any monster customs around stomach related things that might have caused it, but came up empty-handed. Of course, monsters were still a bit of taboo subject in the media, so you doubted every small detail about their culture would be posted online.

So you decided it was just some one-off thing and blew it off completely, refusing to even address the somewhat obvious thing (you'd started to refer to it as 'the totally not probable thing') that was staring you in the face every time a monster would take a second look at your abdomen.

That is, of course, until you slumped into the crew room in McDonald's (which was really more of a food covered booth and the roster plastered to the wall) across from a pretty dead looking cat monster, BP, you briefly remembered. He looked over his phone at you and flicked his cigarette onto the floor.

"When did you get knocked up?" He drawled unapologetically, turning back to his twitter or something. 

(Your gut reaction to that was apparently to throw your mascara really hard at a wall)

"What?!" You nearly shouted, slamming your hand against the sticky (ew gross, reverse, reverse) table. For a moment, the guy just stared, ears perked straight up.

"Uh... you got a soul in your stomach? And unless you, um... ate somebody recently, that usually means-" You cut him off, fingers harshly massaging your temples in tight circles.

"Dude, what?" You groaned, falling back against the wall. "I mean, I guess I kinda knew it? But god, that sucks."

"Tough stuff, little buddy. You want me to let the manager know or something? They might let you sit this one out..." BP suggested, but you shook your head.

"Nah dude, pretty sure its Angus today." You both simultaneously groaned. "Doubt he'd let me leave even if I was in labour."

There were a few moments of solemn silence, both sitting and watching the clock tick slowly towards your clock-on time. Finally, he cut the quiet with a sigh, tucking his ears under the stupid cap you all hated wearing.

"Okay well, I'm rooting for you, little buddy." BP said, typing his code into the computer to clock on. "If you need someone to rant to, I'll always keep an ear out. Got lots of fun stories from fast food in the Underground."

"Thanks, man. I appreciate it." You nodded, watching him turn the corner into the main hub of the restaurant. Your hands were shaking as you typed your code out, the same one you'd had since starting in your teens. Taking a deep breath, you glanced at the clock, which showed 8:00 AM. "You can do this, you tough piece of shit. Just 8 hours of pain to go."

You slumped into the kitchen, locking eyes with Angus through one of the bun ovens. Oh, he just knew you were having a bad day.

"C'mon, you're on dining room, chop chop!"

Maybe you could use the old 'pretend to faint' trick again.

But no, you needed the money. So you broke your back mopping the floors and sweeping up stale chicken nuggets and burger bits and collecting trash until 4 PM when Angus was thankfully not still the only manager on site, and you got the go-ahead from Amy to leave.

Throwing a hoodie over your stupid red work shirt, you crossed the road to the convenience store and picked up a few things (read: some filler and two pregnancy tests) before starting your treck back home. It took a little longer than usual, but you put that down to your mind coming up blank in what might be the most dread filled twenty-minute walk of your life.

When you finally finished the hike up the staircase and unlocked your door, you found the apartment empty. Becca and Rebecca (it was confusing, yes) were still at work or uni or something, it seemed. Letting out a small huff, you quickly deposited your filler items in your shelf of the fridge and gripped the two remaining boxes deathly tight on your way to the bathroom.

Three minutes later, you were left staring at two sets of two lines.

Pregnant.

You were... pregnant.

...

Sans.

_That little shit._

You may have been _really_ drunk that night, but you definitely remember him assuring you that monsters couldn't get humans pregnant. You were sure you'd seen that when you'd looked it up, too.

You swore. You swore  _a lot._ You swore and slapped your forehead repeatedly and probably did a lot of things that would make you seem insane. A twenty-three-year-old sitting on the side of a shitty, kinda mouldy bathtub in a McDonald's uniform having what seemed like her millionth mental breakdown. Definitely where you pictured you'd be when you graduated high school.

A notification pinged from your phone and you snapped out of your confused mess of a mental state. Enjoying a moment of clarity, you unlocked your phone and read the text from Rebecca.

(4:49 PM)  
(Re)Becca: Wanna go clubbing tonight ;)

Oh god, you suddenly remembered.

Sans, you'd have to like, tell him, right? I mean, you were in no state to raise a... do this on your own, that much was clear just by looking at you. Even if you wanted to... abort it, or something like that, you couldn't just do that without telling him. That didn't really sit right with you.

 _Was it even his?_ You suddenly thought. 

 _Of fucking course it was!_ Your brain screamed at you. Your brain was such a dick sometimes. _Who else have you had sex with lately, you prude?_

 _But that's impossible! The internet said so!_ You yelled back. 

 _Well, what else would have got you knocked up then, huh?_ Your brain countered, and you imagined it crossing its little arms sassily at you. Sighing, you realised that your brain, surprisingly, was right. It's not like you've been getting busy with anyone else in the past... couple months or so. If you really had gotten pregnant with the other dude you'd done it with, you're pretty sure you'd already be bottle feeding by now. 

So, you'd have to let Sans know.

But, first, you replied to Rebecca that no, you would not go clubbing tonight. After a shower and a fresh set of non-grease covered clothes, you called an uber to take you to the monster district, which was on the other side of town and you were _not_ walking there. You had high-tailed it out of their pretty early the night after, only leaving a scrawled thank you note on the bedside table and not really looking at the address, but you had remembered a nice park a few blocks down, so you got dropped off there, saying goodbye to a good three hours of pay in the process.

It was only a two-minute walk to the house, but in that time you got a bit of a better look at the neighbourhood. 

Monsters had only resurfaced a few years ago and only received the same rights as humans late last year. While this meant allowing monsters to live and work alongside humans, a lot of them decided to stay and expand their government-mandated housing community. Now, it was its own suburb with the main hub filled with restaurants, cafes and shops. There was still a lot of residual anger, fear and hate towards monsters from lots of humans, but it wasn't nearly as bad as when they first surfaced.

Your feet slowed and you realised the house was right in front of you. A small but warm house with Christmas lights and a very nice looking red sportscar. The last was a new addition, so maybe Sans was living with somebody else, as the car didn't really seem his style.

You allowed yourself a few moments of silent encouragement before advancing up the path to the door, taking a deep breath of crisp, clean air. Finally, you pushed the doorbell. A loud, almost jarring trill broke the peaceful silence, and you could hear clutter of pots and pans inside.

"I'LL GET IT!" A voice, oddly reminding you of Skeletor, called. The sound of loud footsteps approached the door and the mail slot flipped open, a different skeleton stared out at you. "HUMAN! STATE YOUR BUSINESS!"

You blinked, hands toying nervously with a piece of gum in your coat pocket.

"Um, is Sans here? I need to-"

"SANS!!!" You jumped, not expected the loud voice to become louder. The mail slot was closed now, so you were left staring at your feet in front of the closed door. "THERE IS A HUMAN HERE ASKING FOR YOU!"

A moment of silence and then a familiar voice spoke up.

"i got this bro, you get back to the spaghetti."

"OKIE DOKIE."

The door swung open to reveal Sans, wearing the same blue hoodie from that night. His eyesockets widened ever so slightly for a fraction of a second, probably not expecting to see his one night stand partner show up on his doorstep, obviously. Then, you saw those little white pinpricks flicker down, expectedly, to your stomach.

"okay... um. that's not possible?" He finally said. You huffed.

"Yeah, I know." You replied, running a hand through your hair. "Can we talk. Privately?"

"yeah, of course." He said, grabbing his keys and turning back inside for a sec. "yo, bro, gonna be out for a bit. might miss dinner."

"I WILL MAKE SURE THERE IS PLENTY OF LEFTOVERS!" Came his brothers (you assumed, at least) response, and Sans shut the door and lead you down the path to the same park you'd just walked from.

It was a very tense silence as you both walked, both very interested in anything that wasn't the other person. When you risked a glance, the only thing you really noticed was that you were a good head taller than him. By the time you'd reached the park, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. You both dropped onto the nearest bench wordlessly, and he finally looked up.

"before we say anything, i just want to let you know i'm sorry. for, uh... all a' this." Sans said, his smile more of a solemn line than anything else. You managed a small smile.

"It's nobody's fault." You replied, playing with your hands. "I just wanted to let you know. Didn't feel right making a decision without the uh... other half? If that makes sense. If you want nothing to do with this I completely understand-"

"no." Sans cut you off, looking straight at you. "i want to help. i mean, it's both of ours, right?"

You were quite honestly shocked, having known multiple people who had quite happily walked out in situations like this. You'd never really thought of yourself as someone in this situation as anything other than a bystander, but the only thing that you were thinking of was the relief clouding your mind.

"It's not going to be easy." You were basically having a staring contest by now, but he wasn't backing down. "I work four jobs and can barely pay for an apartment, let alone a b... I doubt it's gonna be a walk in the park."

"that's where the second person comes in, right?" Sans' grin came back and you couldn't help but smile back. He placed his bony hand over yours, in a way that was strictly comforting. "i don't have much, but we'll make it work."

"Thank you, Sans." You said, turning your hand over to curl your fingers around his. "But this might not be a normal pregnancy. You said it wasn't possible, so there can't have been many previous inter species  couples, right?"

"none that i know of." He said, shaking your interlocked hands around a bit in thought. "but i know someone who might have a better idea than us. she'll be the best bet we have."

Sans pulled out his phone and started to type out a text message, you tried not to look into their conversations, but you managed to catch the name 'tori'. Wordlessly, the both of you traded phone numbers and settled into peaceful silence, watching a small child get chased around the playground by their parents. The sight was cute, but a little ominous, all things considered.

"tori's free whenever you are." Sans said, after a quiet trill from his phone. You looked back at him, sighing.

"I don't have anything on Thursday." You replied.

"okay."

Back to silence. This time, it was a bit awkward.

"I'd better get going, your spaghetti is probably done by now." You said, unlacing your hand from his as you stood up. 

"yeah, paps gets a little cranky when i miss dinner." Sans said lightly.

"Paps? As in 'jump out of a third story window' Paps?" You grinned, glad for the lighter conversation topic.

"the one and only." Sans chuckled, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. You shook your head, bringing out your phone to order an uber. "i can take you home if you want."

"Fuck, you can like, teleport, can't you?" You replied incredulously. "Can you go places you haven't been before?"

"it's a bit more effort, so i try not to." Sans shrugged, winking. "any famous landmarks nearby?"

You tried to remember what your street looked like, and found it surprisingly hard to recall. "Oh, there's this really creepy statue of this woman putting her leg over her shoulder, made out of like gold or something."

"i think i know the one." He laughed. "is it the one where everyone tries to throw random shit on the leg/platform thingy?"

"Yeah! That one!" You clapped, remembering the one time you looked out of your bedroom window to see a group of edgy teens throwing watermelons at the poor gold lady. "Now that I'm not drunk, I wanna see how cool this shit is."

Sans laughed, holding out his hand for you to take. Almost as soon as you took it, you watched in awe as the beautiful park sunset setting changed completely to...

"OH MY GOD SANS YOU DICK GET US OFF THE LEG!"


End file.
